My Vagina is Perfect!

16 Mar

This post was inspired by an essay I wrote for a class after reading an article titled Vulvas with a Difference by Faith Wilding. I’ve always been slightly disgusted by the recent popularity of vaginal rejuvenation surgeries. In fact, I find the whole concept appalling.

I remember the exact day I learned my vagina was different. I was at one of those trashy, fluorescently lit, sex-shops with my boyfriend. We were looking at all the fun toys and at the end of an aisle we came to the fake vaginas. I asked my boyfriend, “Why do they make them look like that?”

“Like what?” he said.

“Like that,” I pointed to the plastic vulva lips, “all weird and stuff.”

He looked at me confused and said with a smile, “That’s what some vaginas look like.”

I was shocked! I thought to myself, “Wait . . . my vagina does not look like that.” This was the first time, in my entire life, that I felt a slight insecurity about my vagina. I realized that I had never actually seen anyone’s vagina other than my own.

There may be something we can learn from this. I didn’t know what other vaginas looked like, so I didn’t know what mine was “supposed” to look like. I’m not bombarded on an hourly basis with images of beautiful, skinny, blonde, vaginas. It’s the only part of my body that no one was shoving images of in my face telling me what it was “supposed” to look like. And as a result, I thought it was perfect. I’d heard about vaginal rejuvenation and pink dyes to make your vagina a more “preferable” color, but I always thought that was for old ladies who’d had kids or were just dealing with the inescapable effects of aging. I had no clue that my vagina wasn’t pink enough, or now maybe it’s too pink. Fortunately for me, I was at a place in my life where I could realize the absurdity of my new-found vaginal insecurity, and get over it fast. But what if I had been 16 and seen that fake vagina? I might have gone into my adolescent years with a crushing worry about the appearance of my most treasured body part.

In the article Vulvas With a Difference, Faith Wilding says, “The new vulvar and vaginal surgical technologies would be put to much better use in helping women seeking reconstruction and healing of sexual organs mutilated and damaged by Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) practices, than in making unnecessary “aesthetic” interventions on perfectly healthy women.” (3) I totally agree with her. It makes me so sad to think that there are women who are so unhappy with the appearance of their vagina that they’re resorting to surgery to “fix” it. We are fighting the gruesome and terrible practice of FGM, and yet there are women voluntarily submitting themselves to the same kind of practice. Just because an anesthetic is used, and you are given pain pills after doesn’t make it any different.

Here are some of the ridiculous products I found that are for “fixing” or making your vagina “better”. News flash – I like my vagina just the way it is. These are a few products we could do without. (I swear I didn’t make some of these up.)

Betty Beauty Pubic Hair Dye
Don’t like the color of your pubic hair? Don’t worry! You can dye it!




Alpha Betty Vagina Bling
This is not an area for glue and reinstones.







My New Pink Button
Not only do we have to shave our vagina’s, but now we hate to tell you, the soft sensitive skin underneath that hair . . . it’s definitely not pink enough.  So if your vagina is actually skin colored . . . you need to fix that.




Vaginal Scented Film Deodorant
Just in case your vagina actually smells like say . . . vagina . . . there’s a solution for that! Just use one of these little films and your vagina will instantly smell like baby power, fresh flowers, or get this – island breeze! FINALLY! I’ve always wanted a vagina that smelled like island breeze! Taking a note from the Vagina Monologues “My vagina is supposed to smell like pussy!”






The Cuchini!
Just incase everyone thought you actually had vulva lips down there, now they’ll think you just look like barbie with a smooth hard crotch.


5 Responses to “My Vagina is Perfect!”

  1. Dick Patterson March 16, 2011 at 11:15 pm #

    Right on target again! I have heard of the surgery, but I did nothink many people went that far.

    Those products! Who knew?

  2. feminismblog April 8, 2011 at 3:48 am #

    I lol’d. If you’re interested, people post this sort of daft thing on my facebook page, WANG (Women Against Non-essential Grooming) all the time. Take a look

  3. Broken Arrows June 10, 2011 at 2:23 am #

    I actually got here through Unamusement Park and don’t know if I agree with (or get) a lot of your politics, but definitely think you’re onto something with this post.

    The idea that Hollywood or corporations get to tell women what parts of their bodies should look like is disturbing, harmful and dehumanizing. This goes beyond the ridiculous “vaginal rejuvenation surgery” and into the weird obsession with allegedly “perfect” breasts, butts, etc. First off, I want to ask — if this stuff is so important, how did the human race survive without it for so long? Men must have been attracted to women before the corporations declared them “imperfect.”

    But more importantly, why is there even the idea that everyone must look “the same?!” Part of the fun of people is their individualism. If everyone was identical, what would be the point of knowing anyone?

    Most of what makes men attracted to women to begin with is their idiosyncrasies — the way one has a nose that crinkles when she laughs or another has hair that’s unbelievably thick (or red or whatever). And, yes, vaginas play into that too, and their individual differences and quirks (embarrassing and silly as this is to say) can be pretty damn enthralling and sometimes create *more* excitement. Different is not only good, it’s the whole point.

    Any society that insists (or even suggests) its citizens look one way is a society with severe problems. Men deal with this too in other ways — the cookie cutter way they all have to wear suits, the ridiculous obsession with fake-steroid muscles. We have to unshackle people from corporate control. Maybe marches should be organized to burn corporate magazines.

    • iamcharli June 13, 2011 at 12:08 pm #

      I’d like to thank you for at least taking the time to read my actual post. While Unamusement Park has quoted me a few times, he usually takes what I say completely out of context and then attacks me personally. Which is fine – to each is own. But the part of blogging that I love is the sharing of ideas and positions on topics and it’s impossible to do that when people don’t take the time to really read what your position is.

      I commend you for taking the time to read what I wrote! =) I really appreciate it! And I completely agree with you when you say, “if this stuff is so important, how did the human race survive without it for so long?” It’s so culturally constructed and it’s really sad that the media is doing this to our girls. And it’s starting to happen to men and boys too, which is just as sad.

      There’s a really great website out there called Healthy is The New Skinny. Check it out:

      And thanks again for being open minded! I love to hear other view points about what I write and I’m always up for a good conversation about the topics. =)

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